Sheltered
by Aimee in Whaleland
Summary: Perhaps, if Johanna wasn't so sheltered then she would have known. Songfic to Emilie Autumn's 'Shalott'.


**A/N: **This is just a little one-shot I had in my head when listening to my iPod, and it was begging to be written down. So here it is.

The song is '_Shalott'_ by Emilie Autumn.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Sweeney Todd, or any of the characters mentioned here. I also don't own the song 'Shalott', because Emilie Autumn owns that. And I don't own the poem it was based on. Oh, but I invented the boat in this so I think I can own that, right?

**Sheltered**

For as long as she could remember, Johanna Barker had been a prisoner in her own home. Well, the home of the Great Judge Turpin, but she was supposed to refer to the prison as her own home as well.  
Were places in which you were held against your will called homes? Johanna was not entirely sure, but she was pretty sure the answer was no.

_She's locked up with a spinning wheel, she can't recall what it was like to feel  
She says, "This room's gonna be my grave and there's no one who can save me."_

Most of the time, she tried to block out her memories of previous years in the house. If she could block them out, perhaps she could pretend they never existed. She could pretend she hadn't been in the same house for fifteen years. Johanna, though she wasn't a morbid person, often wondered if she would die in the same room she had spent all of her life. It would be quite fitting, really.

_She sits down to her coloured thread, she knows lovers waking up in their beds.  
She says, "How long can I live this way, is there no one I can pay to let me go?"_

The only memories Johanna allowed herself to remember were those of attempted escape, so she wouldn't make the same mistake twice. She'd tried everything, from just running out of the house, to begging, to even attempting to pay off the beadle. Not that she had much money, or anything much to be honest. She wasn't fond of material possessions.

"_'Cause I'm half sick of shadows, I want to see the sky.  
Everyone else can watch as the sun goes down, so why can't I?"_

The years spent being a prisoner in her own home had reduced Johanna to a shell of her former self; when she had arrived, she had been a free spirited young girl. But the judge didn't like that Johanna, he preferred the one that was quiet and just took whatever was given to her. It was easier to become that Johanna than to keep fighting a loosing battle.

"_And it's raining, and the stars are falling from the sky. And the wind, and the wind I know it's cold.  
I've been waiting for the day I will surely die. And it's here, and it's here for I've been told that I'll die before I'm old.  
And the wind I know it's cold..."_

She used to fantasise about leaving her confinement – dreams of going out into the real world. But she knew that she wouldn't survive for long, all on her own. After all, once a bird's wings are clipped it can no longer fly. It can only wish for such things. If said bird ever actually escaped though, it would surely die out of the lack of knowledge of the world it had been shielded from.

_She looks up to the mirrored glass; she sees a handsome horse and rider pass.  
She says, "That man's gonna be my death, 'cause he's all I ever wanted in my life."_

It was the day that she met Anthony when she became more desperate for escape than ever before. He was clearly infatuated with her, and she with him. At least she thought that she was in love with him; Johanna couldn't remember feeling anything except sadness. She'd forgotten that any other feeling existed.

"_I know he doesn't know my name, and that all the girls are all the same to him.  
But still I've got to get out of this place, 'cause I don't think I can face another night."_

Johanna herself was unaware of the plans to steal her away from Judge Turpin; she barely heard any news in her room because the judge wanted to 'shield her from the evils of this world.' To her, _he_ was the only evil in this world.

"_Where I'm half sick of shadows, and I can't see the sky.  
Everyone else can watch as the tide comes in, so why can't I?"_

She often found herself wondering about her real family. The judge rarely mentioned them; it seemed that he wanted her to forget everything about her past, but how could she when she was so haunted by her personal demons? She'd known that her father was deported for a crime, but she knew very little about her mother. The judge had always spoken of her with distaste and anger, and Johanna wondered what on earth her mother had done.

"_But there's willow trees, and little breezes, waves, and walls, and flowers.  
And there's moonlight every single night, as I'm locked in these towers."_

On the night that the judge left for a very important ball, so important that Johanna was not allowed to attend incase she showed him up, she began planning her escape. The only person in the house was the beadle, but he seemed distracted with Judge Turpin's literature collection.

"_So I'll meet my death, but with my last breath I'll sing to him I love.  
And he'll see my face in another place,"_

She would not allow herself to die a prisoner, and she would be free even if it was the last thing she did. Johanna didn't want to be remembered just for being the judge's ward, she wanted to be remembered as Johanna the person rather than Johanna the possession.

"_And with that the glass above cracked into a million bits and she cried out, "So the story fits."_

She'd thrown her birdcage through the window, after apologising to her only friends for what she was about to do. Naturally, this had alerted the beadle and he'd begun to make his way up the stairs. Johanna had hoped she'd have maybe a few more minutes, but it seemed there was nothing else she could do now; it was either do or die. So she climbed out of the window.

_But then I could have guessed it all along, 'cause now some drama queen is gonna write a song for me."_

Injured from the jump she had to make a few metres from the ground, but saved by the thick rows of flowers and bushes outside her window, Johanna made her way to the dock in the hope that Anthony would be there. Every now and then, she would catch the eye of another person and they would look at her in amazement. Everyone knew who she was, but no one could believe that she was out of the house without supervision.

_She went down to her little boat and she broke the chains and began to float away.  
And as the blood froze in her veins she said, "Well then that explains a thing or two."_

By the time she'd reached the dock, Johanna had forgotten that she was looking for Anthony and had simply gone for the first boat that she could find; a small rowing boat only big enough for one. Perhaps if she hadn't been so sheltered, she'd have realised that such a small thing could not have got her safely across the Thames. In the end, it wasn't her fault, it was Judge Turpin's.

"_'Cause I know I'm the cursed one, I know I'm meant to die."_

Johanna had barely made it away from the dock when a surge of water from another boat caused her own little boat to capsize. Perhaps if she hadn't been so sheltered, someone would have taught her to swim. If that was the case, she could have swam to the dock that was only a few metres away.

"_Everyone else can watch as their dreams untie, so why can't I?"_

She managed to keep her head up for a few moments, hoping that someone would notice her and save her. But Johanna was just a little thing; barely visible among the vast waters and the large ships. Perhaps if she hadn't been so sheltered, she would have learnt how to attract attention. But she was sheltered, and this was her downfall.

"_And it's raining, and the stars are falling from the sky. And the wind, and the wind I know it's cold."_

When the sun rose next morning, it was all over the paper. A body had been found in the River Thames, which wasn't exactly uncommon in London. But this body was not just anyone; it was the body of Judge Turpin's beautiful young ward.

"_I've been waiting for the day I will surely die. And it's here, and it's here for I've been told that I'll die before I'm old."_

At the news of Johanna's death, the judge did not weep. He grew angry at Johanna, but eventually the anger subsided and he moved on with his life.  
At the news of Johanna's death, Anthony Hope did not weep. He felt extreme sadness for the girl he loved, but he had not known her well enough to weep for her.  
At the news of Johanna's death, her father wept. Sweeney Todd, who never wept, felt a great sadness for the daughter he had barely known; at least his darling Lucy had gone relatively quickly, and by her own choice. Johanna had drowned to death, because she'd never been taught to swim. Perhaps if she hadn't been so sheltered, he could have got at least a small piece of his broken family back.

The tragic end to Johanna's life had driven Anthony away from London; he swore he'd never return after the loss of his one love.  
Judge Turpin had continued as always, with a new ward. Some people never changed.

But Sweeney, after a while, had learnt to accept that his family was gone. While he still mourned his wife and his young daughter, he learned to move on and found a new family in the form of Nellie Lovett and the boy Tobias Ragg.

Every night he silently thanked Johanna, because he knew that she had brought about this change in him. And when they were finally reunited, he would tell her this.

"_And the wind I know it's cold..."_


End file.
